We had a lovely meeting here at the cafe recently. Word of mouth had gotten the message out that there was a Death Cafe running. It is amazing that people have an interest in talking about death , or maybe it isn’t. The tea and cake environment is very conducive to free and easy conversation.
The meetings are confidential, there is no agenda and no judgements are made . The Death Cafe is not a bereavement counselling forum. However it allows people a chance to openly talk about death and to be respectful of people’s ideas and points of view.
Some death cafe subjects
Issues that have come up in these cafes include:
Death doulas and how they assist a person in the last few months both in terms of health care, mental and spiritual planning
We spoke of how death ceremonies are conducted in churches and where a space is now left for families to speak openly about their dead and where they can celebrate the dead person’s life. We have spoken of Euthanasia and its merits and of one persons desire to change the legal framework in Ireland. This person did not wish to be a bother to her family, friends and carers when she would reach an age that she would be becoming incapacitated.
We also referred to the terminology around the word suicide. The word has negative connotations and the impacts on the family and loved ones afterwards. We have spoken about theologians including Karl Rahner who is a Christian of strong faith and how people even with strong faiths say that “they too may need help to die”.
The academics among us spoke of Michel de Montaigne’s essay where we continually wish to avoid . We have spoken about Elisabeth Kübler-Ross who wrote the book “On Death and Dying” which talks about the five stages of grief to include: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance
We have spoken about people who die in our society and where they have no known relatives and where efforts are made to identify the dead person. It is important to give recognition to those that have no identity. and to understand that dying alone is just so sad.
when’s the next death cafe ?
Next cafe on Nov 25th at 7pm at Aido’s, Annascaul Cafe and Pottery. Contact us 0868035464 for more info and check out the deathcafe.com website.